Times Are Hard For Dreamers

stylinsmut:

the first smut i ever read was about a girl listening to these people having sex in a bathroom stall and when they were done she snuck in and it was like “she saw semen all over the floor and bent over to pick one up”

she picked up a sperm

just one

(via you-would-make-a-good-timelord)

saderidan:

When a character death is so sudden you just sit there in shock for three minutes wondering where the hell that came from

(via emkaykelly)

cumillionaire:

If my jokes offend you:

1. I’m sorry
2. It won’t happen again
3. 1 & 2 are lies 
4. You’re a pussy

(Source: 69shadesofgray, via fuckyeahloldemort)

thelightwoodinstitute:

have you ever discovered a book so good that you’re convinced nobody’s life will be complete until they read it but you also don’t want anyone else to discover it because it’s yours

(via hiddle-stoned)

friendsofthegaybc:

travisstolls:

friendsofthegaybc:

travisstolls:

WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG WARTHOG

WHEN I WAS A YOUNG WARTHOOOOOOOOG

Very nice

Thanks

(via timey-wimey-consulting-detective)

nickelode0n:

[cha cha slides away from responsibilities]

(via fuckyeahloldemort)